Musical March Madness: Championship Matchup

The final two. First, there were 64, and we’ve cut in half until now, the last matchup. There have been upsets, domination, and polarizing matchups. Lets see how they got here:

• Les Miserables has dominated in each matchup so far. It started off strong, beating She Loves Me 33-4. It moved on to face The Music Man, and ended its run, winning 17-3. Next was West Side Story, and in this highly touted matchup, Les Miserables cruised past 14-7. It faced the #15 seeded Light in the Piazza in the Elite 8, easily taking it 27-6. In the Final Four, Les Miserables jumped into the final, moving past Rent, 26-18.
• On the other side of the bracket, the winner is….Wicked! It’s path to the final was much more dramatic than Les Miserables. In the first round, it beat Tommy, 19-9. Moving into the second round, it went up against a strong Avenue Q, still winning 15-4. Next was Spamalot, who put up a good fight, but ultimately lost by one, 11-10. In the Elite 8, Wicked took care of Sweeney Todd convincingly, 24-9, moving onto the Final Four, facing Hairspray. This one was close, but when I closed the voting, Wicked was winning by one vote again, this time 21-20.

Updated bracket here

I will say this: I’ve gotten a lot of messages (and even in person) where people have said they don’t agree with what’s happened. That is the beauty of it.

I tried to make the matchups objective, by ranking them by the length of their Broadway run. Naturally, some were left out, and others were ranked unfairly (Singing in the Rain, West Side Story) because of the length of the original run.

It was a fun bracket to see what is popular in the here and now. This champion will be decided by who voted, and everyone gets one vote. This might not be your champion, and it might not be your final two, but we’ve gotten here based on votes of the people and nothing else. Make a bracket for yourself and see who wins yours!

It would be interesting to see this bracket in it’s entirety when voted on by a larger sample size. The most votes we had on one matchup was this last round, when the Les Miserables and Rent matchup gathered 44 votes. Not entirely representative.

It’s enough to get a general idea, but of course, all democratic voting is flawed if not all opinionated parties are voting. This was for fun; it might not be what you expected, but that was the point.

With all of that in mind, I present to you the final matchup. I will close voting when I get to 50 votes.

 

Thank you to everyone who voted and followed along! Leave a comment to let me know what YOUR champion was! Which matchup didn’t go the way you thought? Which musicals did better than you thought? Leave a comment below!

Musical March Madness: Final Four

And then there were FOUR! Which musical surprisingly got beaten resoundingly this round? Which musicals moved on? Read on:

Updated bracket

• Is Les Miserables on Broadway/extremely popular right now? Do 77% of votes agree with that? Actually, that’s unfair. Les Miserables was going to be hard to beat at any time, which is why it was justified as a #1 seed. But with its Broadway revival, its going to be hard to beat. It showed that against Light in the Piazza, ending the magical run by crushing it 27-6. The Beauty Is not in this final result, Clara. See you next time.
• Rent is also moving on to the Final Four, defeating the ever popular Book of Mormon, by taking 58% of the vote. Hello, I Believe its time to Man Up and Turn It Off, friends. Its okay though, Tomorrow is a Latter Day.
• Hairspray followed up its upset over Phantom of the Opera by beating Legally Blonde in a tight matchup, by ONE vote, 17-16.  Oh My God, you guys, I’m, like, totally Serious and Positive. Legally Blonde is out.
• The #15 seeds didn’t have a fun round, going 0-3. Wicked took care of Sweeney Todd in the fourth matchup, taking 72% of the votes. The Worst Pies in Town belong to the Barber and his Wife, and they won’t be moving on in this tournament. Not While I’m Around.

And that’s that! From those eight we move on to the Final Four, and the finalists from each quarter meet in two epic matchups. Who moves on to the final? Let’s find out!

Spread word and lets find our champion!

Musical March Madness: Elite 8

Ohhhh its getting good! We’ve gone from 64 down to 8. THREE of the remaining eight musicals are #15 seeds. That’s incredible. Now, we determine the Final Four musicals left standing.

Updated bracket

• Les Miserables rolls along, defeating West Side Story to advance to the quarterfinals. Les Miserables took 66% of the votes in this matchup, and is easily defending its #1 seed. Tonight, Somewhere in America, Something’s Coming to Maria to make her Feel Pretty. Unfortunately, it won’t be in the quarterfinals of this tournament.
• Light in the Piazza continues its unbelievable cinderella-esque run, advancing past the highly touted Mamma Mia to advance, taking 57% of the votes. Thank You for the Music, Mamma Mia, but its time to call an SOS, because the Winner Takes it All, and its not going to be you this time. Better luck next time.
• The upset of this round goes to Hairspray, taking out the #1 Phantom of the Opera. 71% of the votes is a substantial amount to beat the longest running Broadway show of all time, yet, they did it. We’re now past the Point of No Return, and All I Ask of You, is, Why So Silent, Phantom? Poor Fool, He Makes Me Laugh.
• Legally Blonde is one of three #15 seeds to make it through to the next round, beating In the Heights by taking 70% of the votes. It Won’t Be Long Now until someone is sipping Champagne, but When You’re Home, you can watch the results, because it won’t be you, In the Heights.
• In what I think was the hardest matchup to choose between, Wicked beat my dark horse, Spamalot by a whopping one vote, 11-10. “I Am Not Dead Yet,” said King Arthur, “Whatever Happened to My Part? I’m All Alone.” Sorry, Spamalot, off to Finland you go, because You Won’t Succeed on Broadway this time around. Here’s some advice: Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.
• Sweeney Todd  is another #15 seed to make it through, beating 42nd Street by 65% of the votes. I think its time to be Getting Out of Town, Dames, and Shuffle Off to Buffalo. You know what though? There’s a Sunny Side to Every Situation.
• Book of Mormon had a scare against Into the Woods, winning 10-9. I Guess This is Goodbye, Into the Woods.
• Rent beat A Little Night Music 14-7, ending the run of the #14 seed. Now, A Little Night Music won’t be living the Glamorous Life. It Would Have Been Wonderful if they made it further, but, alas, Send in the Clowns.

On we go! Down to the final 8! Time to make it 4…

**This round of voting is done! For this round, click here**

Musical March Madness: Sweet 16

We continue to thin the herd, and are down to the Sweet 16. Only 3 rounds until we crown our champion. Thanks to everyone who is participating and voting!

**Updated bracket**

• Les Miserables continued its utter dominance against The Music Man, taking 85% of the votes. Coming off of a dominant performance of their own, Harold Hill and the Iowa Stubborn were not up to par and this was never close. Can anyone stop Les Miserables?
• West Side Story also continued rolling along, beating The Producers by 65% of the votes. Where Did They Go Right? They didn’t. Keep it Gay, Producers.
• Mamma Mia advances to the Sweet 16, beating Oklahoma, 11-9. Oh, What a Beautiful run they were having, until they ran into the Greek party that is Mamma Mia. Go to your Lonely Room and think about what you’ve done, Oklahoma.
• Light in the Piazza continues its cinderella run, winning 76% of votes versus the classic Annie Get Your Gun. Definitely the surprise of the tournament so far, Light in the Piazza continues to say, “Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better.”
• Phantom of the Opera moves along easily after a battle with The Sound of Music. Phantom took a comfortable 65% of votes, and the Hills are no longer Alive with The Sound of Music.
• This next matchup is going to be a doozy. Hairspray beats Fiddler on the Roof, meaning it faces Phantom next. No more bottle dancing in this tournament, as the kids from Baltimore shut down Tevye and friends.
• In the Heights quietly continues to do well, beating Gypsy 11-7. New beating old seems to be the theme of this tournament.
• Two low seeds will face off next, as Legally Blonde also moves on, beating Pippin. This sets up a nice matchup of the crazy Spanish people versus the crazy Harvard kids.
• Spamalot squeaked out a 10-9 victory against Singing in the Rain. They didn’t Make ‘Em Laugh in this matchup. King Arthur and his Knights move on to face…
• Wicked! This will be another well fought battle. Avenue Q didn’t stand much of a chance versus Wicked, who took 79% of the votes. What Can You Do With a B.A. in English? I’m not sure, but you can’t win this tournament. No puppets allowed.
• 42nd Street ends Man of La Mancha‘s tournament, winning 72% of votes. The Impossible Dream is just that, and will have to settle for a run at the Stratford Festival this year. Poor Don.
• Also continuing its strong run is Sweeney Todd. It took 75% of votes vs Guys and Dolls, and sends them packing.
• The Book of Mormon continues its cruise through the bottom right part of the bracket, knocking off the #1 seeded A Chorus Line, 14-5. Don’t call us, we’ll call you. Thank you.
• Into the Woods has been one of the surprises of the tournament thus far. My Fair Lady didn’t stand a chance, losing by 85% of the vote.
• The Sondheim musicals keep dominating in this section, as A Little Night Music takes out Jersey Boys, 11-7. Big Girls Don’t Cry, though, so wipe those tears and move along now.
• Rent took care of Mary Poppins, who I thought would do much better in this tournament. Turns out a Spoonful of Sugar doesn’t really help, and Anything Can Happen, so long as winning doesn’t count as “anything.”

Onward we march, toward the Elite 8. After that, the Final Four will be crowned, and at last, a champion. Can anyone stop Les Mis? Will Book of Mormon continue its dominance? Will Legally Blonde hold on as the only #15 seed left? Answers and more, coming up:

**This round of voting is closed! For this round, click here**

 

Sweet 16 to Elite 8.

Musical March Madness: ROUND 2

Round 1 is finished! Onto Round 2 we go. This is where we determine the men from the boys. The women from the girls. Some musicals may have just gotten lucky, but this is a round where all the winners face off. First, we recap.

Updated Bracket: here

• Oklahoma absolutely manhandled The Pajama Game. This wasn’t even close. Pajama Game is apparently Not At All in Love with winning, because they were never in this, losing by 87% of the vote. Now, we put The Pajama Game to bed.
• Annie Get Your Gun beat out the polarizing La Cage aux Folles who, upon hearing the news that they lost 14-9, stomped out of the building, yelling, “I Am What I Am!” Heels and all.
• The Music Man gets the award for most lopsided win (after the number 1 ranked Les Mis, of course), beating Evita 20-3. Even Ricky Martin couldn’t save this matchup, and was definitely heard crying for Argentina in the bathroom stall after this one was over.
• In the Heights beat out the (not so) adorable Annie, taking 70% of the votes. The Sun Will NOT Come Out Tomorrow, so don’t even think about it Annie.
• Pippin defeated The King and I, 15-8, and sends the R&H classic packing. “I Have Dreamed of winning this,” quoted the King. Not anymore sir, not anymore.
• The Sound of Music survived a first round scare against the newer Crazy For You. 12-11 was the final score, and Crazy For You doesn’t have rhythm anymore.
• The Impossible Dream lives on, as Man of La Mancha beat Kiss Me, Kate by taking 63% of the votes. I guess the competition was just Too Darn Hot for Kiss Me, Kate.
• Guys and Dolls edged out South Pacific 12-10. It makes sense though, because South Pacific is In Love With a Wonderful Guy, and was completely distracted throughout this matchup.
• Spamalot laughed its way past How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, taking 65% of votes.  Finch and his Brotherhood of Man are going to have to try a little harder to get past King Arthur and his Laker cheerleaders.
• Jersey Boys sang past Little Shop of Horrors, with 52% of votes. Seymour and his plant are going to go find solace Somewhere That’s Green. Its okay, little buddy.
• Mary Poppins flew past 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee by one vote. Its because one of the words in the spelling bee was Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. They couldn’t do it.
• Sorry, Dreamgirls, but Book of Mormon is unfairly ranked because of how new it is, and you were standing in their way. Could they Step Into the Bad Side and cause some more upsets? Lets see….

So here we are. Round two. Now, all the winners of the last matchups continue along their bracket path and face a new challenge. Its up to you!

**Voting for this round is finished! Click here to go to this round!**

Annnnnd off we go!

Musical March Madness: Days 6, 7 and 8!

The end of the first round. 12 matchups left. Then we’re down to 32 musicals. This round was crazy. I started writing some recaps before they were done because some matchups looked to be more than over, but then, the unthinkable happened. THREE TIMES.

Updated Bracket, click here-izzle.

• The battle between Miss Saigon and Gypsy came right down to the final vote. Tied at 15 votes, the last (anonymous, for personal safety) voter, put Gypsy through to the next round. Intense. Wow. Crazy. This is insane.
  
• As is Tradition, Fiddler on the Roof had a good group of supporters, and took down Joseph with75% of the votes. Tevye and his family Close Every Door on Joseph’s Dreams. Poor, Poor Joseph. Fiddler was only up 12-8 for a brief period of time, and then went on a 9-0 run to end the matchup. Insane.
• Because of the above matchup, we know that Fiddler will take on….Hairspray! Urinetown was leading 11-8, until Hairspray mounted a  ferocious comeback, going on a 10-2 run and defeating Urinetown, 17-13.
• “Sunday in the Park with George gets the upset over the #3 seeded 42nd Street, by taking 65% of the votes,” was what I had typed 4 hours ago, which apparently jinxed everything, because 42nd Street woke up and also went on a 10-2 run to come back and win. George wasn’t even phased. Just kept painting. What a guy. 
  
• Wicked had a strong debut in Musical March Madness taking out an up-and-coming Next to Normal. With 58% of the votes, Elphaba was seen yelling, “You’re NEVER gonna bring MEEEEEE down.”  A shocked Henry and Natalie stood quietly. “Jesus, okay. Relax.” They were trying to calm her down by just quietly saying “Hey,” a few times, but to no avail. “Just Another Day,” said a depressed Henry. It seems like Henry and Natalie from Next to Normal took the loss out on each other. Their conversation, off air, went something like this:

Natalie: Better than Before…

Henry: Why Stay?

Natalie: I Miss the Mountains

Henry: I’ve Been. You Don’t Know.

Natalie: How Could I Ever Forget..?

Henry: There’s a World. It’s Gonna Be Good.

Natalie: Who’s Crazy…

Then she walked away. Turmoil, it seems. Stay tuned to TMZ for the latest.

• Avenue Q sent Tommy packing, taking home 68% of the votes. When asked for his post-matchup thoughts, Tommy didn’t say anything at all. Typical.
• A Little Night Music was winning 14 to 4. FOUR. Grease had an epic come back, going 10-0 to tie it, before the final vote was cast. Its Raining on Prom Night at Rydell High, so don’t get caught Alone at the Drive-in without your Greased Lightning. That didn’t even make sense. Whatever. A Little Night Music moves on, 15-14.
• My Fair Lady took out Jesus. And by Jesus, I mean Jesus Christ Superstar. That takes balls. 53% of the votes were too much for the powers above. After the matchup, they were yelling, “Could We Start Again Please?!” But, unfortunately, no. My Fair Lady moves on to take on….
• Into the Woods! At one point, they were leading 11-0 over Cabaret. Eleven! Nothing! Cabaret tried mounting a late comeback, but it fell short, losing 23-7. The cast was heard yelling abrasive things in German as they left that no one could understand. A bitter end to a great run.
• Mamma Mia took on Bye Bye Birdie in a great 3v14 matchup. This one was never really close, and Mamma Mia moves on with almost 70% of the votes. Let’s all get in line for One Last Kiss from dreamy Conrad, before we say bye-bye Bye Bye Birdie.
• Just like Singing in the Rain, the rankings on the matchup between West Side Story and Hello Dolly were slightly skewed. West Side Story didn’t have the most illustrious Broadway run, but is much more well known than Hello Dolly. Because of this, West Side Story dominated from the get go, and cleaned up a whopping 84% of the votes. So Long Dearie.
• The Producers didn’t really give Titanic a chance, and just like the ship, down it went. A clean 76% of the vote went to the Producers, and the unsinkable ship is now resting at the bottom of the bracket. Fare Thee Well, Titanic.

On we go! Our last set of Round 1 matchups, and then we’ll be doing ALL of the matchups at a time. Exciting. Remember, tell your friends to vote, share this on twitter and Facebook, post flyers all over school, and rent a billboard for the best results! Here we go…

**Voting for this round is finished! Click here to vote for Round 2!**

There they are! The last of the first round. Vote away!

Musical March Madness: Day 3, 4 and 5!

I’ve decided that I’m impatient and we’re going to do 3 sets of matchups all at once. Ooooooh there’s some good ones now. Come vote!

From this past round, there were some surprising results, and one decided by ONE vote, and one absolute blowout. Lets quickly recap and then get to the, not 4, but 12 matchups!

On Day 2, we saw three upsets and only one #2 seed made it through. That #2 seed was Rent, who goes through to the next round. Anything Goes lost by a comfortable 10-5 and is now delightfully, deliciously, de-done for.

The first of our three upsets was by a landslide. Sweeney Todd destroyed Beauty and the Beast taking 78% of the vote, and sent it Home to the Maison des Lunes. That one was too easy.

Light in the Piazza surprisingly never trailed in its matchup with The Lion King, and ended up taking 61% of the votes. The seemingly sure #2 seed goes out early after this matchup. Oh well. Hakuna Matata.

The closest victory yet goes to Legally Blonde, who upsets Chicago by one vote. Good, I say. I say good riddance, and the people agree! Well, at least 7 of them do. Whatever Happened to Class? It’s gone. Just like Chicago, from this bracket.

Onwards and upwards we go! We now do the 3v14, 4v13, and 5v12 matchups, which get decidedly harder to judge as the seeds get closer. I’ll leave this one up for 2 or 3 days.

**Voting is closed for this round! Go here to vote this round!**

Vote away!

Musical March Madness: Day 2!

What a first day! We opened with what were supposed to be the most lopsided matchups, yet we had a number 1 seed fall AND what I can only describe as a dramatic come from behind victory!

http://betterbracketmaker.com/#!/412540ece8235

Les Miserables and Phantom did as everyone expected them to do, winning their respective match ups by absolutely dominating. Les Miserables showed why its the hottest ticket on Broadway right now, as it got 89% of the votes and wiped the floor with She Loves Me. Sorry, no Vanilla Ice Cream for you Tonight at Eight (badum pssssh).

Phantom took home a whopping 83% of the vote, as She Loves Me was lacking the musical numbers and star power to overcome a towering opponent in Andrew Lloyd Webber’s number 1 seed. If I Could Write a Book, it would include the fact that you’re going to have to try harder to take down 9,500 performances, Pal Joey.

Webber’s other classic, Cats, didn’t fare so well. Singing in the Rain used its unusually low seed to its advantage and took out the number 1 seed. This just goes to show you, no one reeeaaally likes Cats. Just kidding. Kind of. I think because of its fame as a film, Singing in the Rain wouldn’t be considered a 16 seed in most discussions, so 68% of the vote wasn’t really a surprise, and now all we’re left with is a vague Memory of Cats.

“God, I hope I get it,” was what Chorus Line was hoping, yet fell behind early to an eager Wizard of Oz. If it only had a brain, it might’ve held on longer, but Chorus Line sent it searching Somewhere Over the Rainbow, as it came storming back late and squeaked out a victory with 55% of the vote.

Take a look at the updated bracket above. Onto the next round! This round of voting features the #2 seeds facing off vs the #15 seeds.

**Voting is now closed. Click here to vote for the Day 3, 4 and 5 matchups*

Some interesting matchups and potential upsets here. Can Elle Woods snap her way past the ever formidable fosse ensemble? Will the Beast and Gaston finally settle their differences to fend off the Demon Barber of Fleet Street? Does Simba avenge the death of his father in Florence, Italy? And can Billy Crocker find one more disguise in order to overcome the powerful force of La Vie Boheme?

Oh god, those were bad. Let’s not do that ever again. Let the voting begin!

Musical March Madness!

Alright folks. Here it is. The ultimate march madness bracket.

As most of you are aware, the NCAA college basketball tournament spawns bracket makers from all across the continent, creating controversial picks and frustrating sports lovers for years. But what if we could make a bracket about something else? How about…musicals!? Yessssss.

That’s right. I’ve created the ultimate musicals bracket. Here’s how it works:

I’ve picked 64 of the most popular/successful musicals, and tried to find a way to rank them objectively, a la March Madness. I thought and thought, til my puzzler was sore, and I came up with the idea to rank them based on the length of their Broadway runs. Let’s just get to the bracket and round 1 of voting., and I’ll explain the ranking system after.

http://betterbracketmaker.com/#!/412540ece8235

There she is! Take a look for yourself and make a plan. And lets just start the voting now. I’ve shown the first 4 match ups, and then I’ll gauge interest from there, so that I don’t end up posting one question per day. Vote with whatever criteria you’d like! Share and tell your friends!

Your first 4 match ups arrrrrrrrre:

**Voting for Day 1 is closed! Head over to Day 2  to vote on the next round!**

I seeded/ranked the musicals based on the length of their original Broadway runs. If they didn’t have a Broadway run, I based it on their West End run. I used this site. The entire system is (unfortunately) not that linear though because, as you’ll notice, some of the musicals that became mostly famous because of their film version, did not have incredible Broadway success. Singing in the Rain, Wizard of Oz, Mary Poppins and Grease were all extremely popular as films, but their Broadway runs were not as successful, for example.

Also, two other musicals that stand out are Little Shop of Horrors, and The Book of Mormon. Little Shop had 2,209 performances, which would have made it 28th all time, just ahead of Jersey Boys. However, the whole run was Off-Broadway. I couldn’t think of a fair way to quantify that, so I simply chopped the number in two. 1,104 performances put it in the spot its in. The Book of Mormon is currently at approximately 1264 performances, and will continue to grow, and when its done, who knows where it will be on this list. For now though, it sits in the 9th spot in its category.

I also left some popular ones out. Sorry. Came down to 64. It’ll be fine.

To seed them, I made four columns and, reading left to right, continuously filled in spots. For example, the top 4 Broadway runs of all time are Phantom of the Opera (9,451), Cats (7,485), Les Miserables (6,680) and A Chorus Line (6,137). Those four became the number 1 seeds. The next four longest runs became the 2 seeds, and so on.

I’ll try and post a new one every day or two!

Any questions or comments, let me know below!

What’s Happening to the Canucks? The Good and the Bad

I wrote before the trade deadline that the Canucks could theoretically travel in any direction in the coming weeks. Where are they now?

Good: The Canucks started the fire sale by finally trading a frustrated Roberto Luongo to his home team in Florida. I call this one good (subjectively) because we all needed it. Luongo. Gillis. The fans. Vancouver. After the infamous snub at the Heritage Classic, Luongo’s agent started calling teams and initiated trade talks. Luongo needed to get out of this city. Gillis needed to finally pull the trigger on this contract and get it off his chest. The fans needed to figure out whether they hated or loved him. The last memory Luongo will have of a Vancouver game? 50,000 fans in BC Place chanting “We want Lu!” Not bad.

Good (ish): In return, we got center Shawn Matthias and goaltender Jakob Markstrom. Shawn Matthias is a big, young, third line center type who will bring a big body presence and some scoring. The goaltender is another fellow Swede, who was called “the best goalie not in the NHL” just a couple years ago. That opinion, since his NHL debut, has changed dramatically. He’s been called overrated and inconsistent, so it will be interesting to see how he does in the Vancouver goalie graveyard.

Bad: Ryan Kesler. After (supposedly) asking out of Vancouver, he didn’t get his (supposed) wish. Ryan Kesler is a horrible liar. He started decently with the media saying, “I’m happy to be a Canuck,” only to finish with, “I should’ve listened to Lu, cause he said whether I wanted out or not, I’m staying here.” Someone who wants to be a Canuck doesn’t share something like that. Where does he go from here? Will he be disgruntled and sour? Will he care?

Bad: I jumped back and forth on whether not trading him at the trade deadline was good or bad. I decided on bad and here’s why: Ryan Kesler’s trade value will never be higher. Can you trade him at the draft? Sure, but the team that gets him won’t get an extra playoff run out of him. I’ll say a subtle “good,” because the offer wasn’t good enough. The best offer from Pittsburgh was Brandon Sutter and two picks. That’s not even close to good. The question isn’t “why didn’t Gillis trade him?!” The question is, “why wasn’t the offer better if there was a bidding war for the best player on the market?”

Bad: Where does this leave us now? As Ray Ferraro puts it: “half-pregnant.” Not good enough to push for a playoff position and make some noise in the playoffs, and not bad enough to get a good draft pick out of the season. They traded Luongo. Everyone thought this was the start of the rebuild new Canucks era. If ownership wants the revenue from two playoff games, they shouldn’t have traded anyone, including Luongo, and instead, should have pushed for the playoffs. If ownership wanted to start building for the future, they should’ve gotten rid of Luongo, Kesler, and asked Edler to move his no-trade clause. Instead of purposefully choosing, we did 1/3 things and we’re now in no man’s land. What’s worse than decidedly choosing and making the wrong decision? Choosing nothing and ending up uselessly on the fence.

Good: If the Canucks can somehow stumble into the playoffs, they’ll play the first ranked Ducks or Blues. If it’s the Blues, well, we’re somehow 3-0 against them this year.

Bad: The Canucks of 2014 are not the Canucks of 2011. This version of the Canucks has 4 regulation wins in the past 26 games: 2-1 vs Edmonton, 2-1 vs Calgary, 2-1 vs St Louis and 1-0 vs St Louis. Ruh roh.

Bad: 2-7-1 in their last 10. The offense is ranked 27th. We are -21 in goal differential. We have the 28th ranked powerplay. Those are some absolutely brutal numbers.

Good: At least we’re still not as bad as Edmonton.

Bad: The reason everything looks so desperately bleak, grey and horrible? Expectations. From 1994 until 2011, the fans had no big expectations. We, the fans, were happy for the playoffs. We were ecstatic for a series win. We were realistic about a second round playoff exit. Now, because of 2011, we’ve caught Stanley Cupitis. It’s a real thing. Don’t look it up, just trust me.

This current Canucks team, in 2006, is just fine. Pushing and battling for a playoff spot and not really dominating. After a close call in 2011, playing with the Stanley Cup in the building twice, we expect big things. First round of the playoffs? Pffft. That’s for sissies. Second round? Automatic. If the fans expect a playoff appearance, and we get the Finals, everything is amazing. If we expect the Finals and get a playoff appearance, well, prepare for a summer fire sale.